I have been packing for the past few days, trying to get everything I need for camp into two bags. I’ll be leaving Flower Mound Texas in the morning and heading to Lake City Colorado. I am so excited for this summer. I will get to be doing all kinds of fun things with kids. Not to mention the incredible views that the mountain environment provides everyday. But by far the best best best thing that is going to happen starting tomorrow is the network of like-minded Christians that I will be living life with. I try not to surround myself with a ton of Christians all day everyday. Because I realize that non Christians need to be around me, and they can sharpen my faith and my love for Christ. However, sometimes the camp environment is really great for growing your faith. Talk about being held accountable for your heart condition, try working with a bunch of professed Christians for a summer and serving children in every possible way. What is really great about camp Redcloud is that there is no hiding. I can’t pretend to be faithful when everyone around me is genuine. Yes, we all struggle at many points during the summer season, but the counselors that I haven’t even met yet will soon become a support system unlike any other that I have been a part of. I can’t wait to show the campers that come to Redcloud the love of my God.

All that to say… SUPER STOKED!

I am stoked for mountain biking, rock climbing, canoeing, ropes courses, Bible studies, quiet times (with the best view), worship, hiking, camping, and general fun times.

This semester is quickly coming to a close and I feel monumentally unprepared. This week I have a test, a presentation, a project, and two lengthy papers. And as bad as this week is, I know that in the next few things will only get worse. Classes are wrapping up, and assignments are being completed. All of the work that I tend to put off has been slowly creeping up on me… bummer.

There is really only so much I can do about this inevitable semester’s end, and that is to ignore it. I simply refuse to think about the future. I will focus on the next thing on my list and not look ahead. Maybe this isn’t the best idea I’ve ever had, but it is the only thing keeping me sane. (that, and my hammock)

Speaking of my hammock… I love it

I find any and every excuse to sit in it, and to hang it up everywhere on campus. I am so jazzed about it that I have decided that I am going to sell my plasma in order to buy a hammock tarp. This way I can hammock in the rain. Plasma selling starts tomorrow. I will be hooked up to a machine much like the matrix and I will be paid for part of my blood. I’m a little uneasy about the process, but it pays and that is a fact that is not easily ignored.

The amount of days until summer break. The amount of days that I have until mountains and valleys. The number of days I have to study, and go to class. The amount of time until I will be living in Lake City, Colorado. The amount of time I have to wait until I am loving every moment of every day.

Sucks!

 

My upstairs neighbors have a kid who is learning to play the violin, and keyboard piano. As a music major, I am very appreciative and welcoming of my budding musician comrades. However, when you practice your violin after 10pm and sometimes after midnight… we are going to have problems. I appreciate your work ethic, and it will no doubt give you results eventually. But, when I am trying to study or sleep the last thing I want to hear is your crappy violin playing.

So… thus, a series of experiments commence to resolve my upstairs neighbors’ inconsiderate behavior. Here’s how it went. First I ignored the problem, for awhile. Then I politely banged on a wall. And I have to say I’m not proud of the next few steps. I yelled, I banged, I yelled some more. I banged until literally the ceiling started to cave in. (ok, so all that happened were little white flakes getting on my black shirt) Then I decided a full on battle must happen. They drove me to it. The incessant violin. The out of tune instrument. The same twinkle twinkle little star over and over and over and over. So I looked around my room and opted first for the electric guitar. I turned up my little amp as high as it would go the first night and proceeded to play very poorly. This had the desired affect of making the violin player stop… for a while. Then they started again at 11pm. So I opted this time for the loudest, most horrible  instrument in my room. The trombone. I am really rather bad at the trombone, so I pointed the bell at the ceiling and played. I played and practiced until I heard stomping. And for the last half hour there has been silence.

I am hoping that my upstairs neighbor gets the not so subtle hint. To shut the fu… heck… up. And if they for some reason did not get my hint. Well, I have my trombone at the ready.

I just got all settled into my new place. It is right on the bike path and so close to campus. I realized in the move that I severely need to downsize. This is not to say that I have too much stuff. Because in all reality, I have much less stuff than most people my age and status. I just have begun to realize that I see my life in the future as a much simpler version of the one it is now. I enjoy having things that comfort me, but I also tend to feel cluttered and stressed out by my possessions. So… it will no doubt be a long and arduous journey, but in the next year I plan to de-clutter and simplify my life. Streamline, one might say.

Just thinking about the streamlining process relieves me. All the years of keeping yearbooks that I never look at. The stacks of t-shirts that my mom told me to save in order to one day make a quilt or something. The pictures stuck in frames that I actually kind of hate. This is going to be a great process. I’m excited.

Sometimes I get frustrated or upset or even extremely excited about something. But, I don’t tend to show these emotions outwardly. I bottle them inside. It’s probably because I’m insecure about something and rooted in not trusting God enough. But bottom line is that I compartmentalize my life and section things off in my mind. This way I can stay focused on something and not let my mood or emotions get in the way. The only problem with this is that some days (rare days) the bottle breaks. The compartment that I have placed the crappy things of my day overflows into another compartment and they are both overcrowded. This creates a problem. One that I try to ignore. But sometimes no matter how hard I try to ignore something, it has a way of reminding my. I am now reminded of my lack of compartmentalization every time I get in my car.

You see, this past wednesday I was having a pretty good day. I went to class, went to rehearsal, studied, got stuff done… then I got in my car. I like to listen to music (seeing as I am a music major after all) and my dumb CD player wasn’t playing any of the CD’s that I wanted it to. That combined with stupid drivers turned my pretty alright day into a stressful drive home. I usually just tap my CD player gently and remind it that I really appreciate when it can play songs for me. But today the little fact that I couldn’t listen to a stupid CD broke my compartments down. The bottle that I put everything in inside my head cracked. Instead of tapping the console where my radio/clock/CD player was, I punched it. Not once, but three times. I also felt the need to punch my drivers side door because my window wouldn’t roll up without assistance. I realized immediately that I just had a lapse in self control, but didn’t think much of it. Then the next morning when I got in my car to drive to school, I looked at my radio/clock/CD player. It is now broken. Not only broken, but shattered…the clock is now inside of my dashboard. cool, good one Bethany.

Now, days later I am trying really hard to cast my burdens on Jesus, and when I have a hard time with that I just focus on reconstructing my emotion filled bottle. But don’t worry, if the broken CD player wasn’t a good enough reminder… I will probably  still have the ache in my hand for a few more days.

With this new era of politically correct education involving; zero tolerance policies, and no child left behind acts, we are struggling to discipline our children in the classroom. Parents are now choosing to never spank their children in fear of entering into a cycle of violence. A grade of ‘c’ no longer means average as it used to, but now means that they left their page blank. Our kids are now growing up never failing, and never being told ‘no’. We are teaching them that everyone is a winner, and that even the kids who finish last get a trophy. So, whose job is it to teach our children that sometimes their best might not be good enough? That just because they tried really hard, they don’t necessarily get an ‘A’?

I am currently in a college education course thats sole purpose is to teach future teachers how to be politically correct. I just wrote my “philosophy on education” paper that was supposed to be how the course that I’m taking is shaping how I will one day teach students in my classroom. Instead of writing a typical b.s. paper that would get me an ‘a’, I decided that I was going to write my actual philosophy on education and tell my instructor why I believe that education today is ineffective. I almost just told her to suck it, and that her class was bogus. But then decided that I kind of want to pass college, bogus or not.

I believe it is in the hands of teachers to take back the standards that were once in place. It is our job to prepare students for the real world. The world that doesn’t care how hard you try, and that if you don’t make your quota you get fired. The world that only gives the job to the best candidate, not the nicest. We need to prepare students for being laid off and for being fired. We shouldn’t be telling them that no matter what everyone wins, because then as soon as they reach failure the first time, they will be severely unprepared. The world is a harsh place, and our classrooms need to teach accordingly.

The future of the world is held in the hands of teachers. And, if everyone’s a winner, then no one is.

I have done more studying and homework in the past month than I have done in my previous three years in college combined. I go to class, then I come home and study. I don’t have time to sleep, or eat, or relax, or play trumpet. I changed my major this semester. But it wasn’t as drastic or consequently as satisfying as you might think. I am still a music major, and I still have three more semesters of classes. But I am slightly less stressed out.

Slightly.

I feel like the world is moving around me at supersonic speed and I am stuck at this incredibly slow pace. I waste all my energy just trying to keep up.

I wish I had the time or the energy to ride my bike to school.

I wish I had a job, and the time for a job.

I wish I was home with my parents who let me live in their house and fed me everyday.

I wish I didn’t have to try so hard to pass.

…But in the end, where will wishing really get you?

So until I can spend all day wishing my problems away, I will say “Woo Pig, Go Hogs, Fight Fight Fight”. Cause we all know that football is the real reason people go to college. Right?

 

I had the most awesome summer. I learned to rappel, rock climb, kayak, white water raft. I got to hike some of the tallest mountains in colorado, I got to share the gospel with kids. I got to see sand dunes and rock faces. I spent three months without tv, or cell reception and I went camping at least once a week. I woke up every thursday at 4:30am and started hiking at 5:30. It was one of the best summers of my life, and I know I’ll never forget it.

One of my favorite adventures was getting to drive on Engineer Pass. It’s a four wheel drive road that cuts right into and over the mountains. Super fun and exciting, and at times a little scary. But I like to think I rocked it, and so did my drive trade off partner Pepper.

More on Colorado later…

 

So, I am really into this website called stumbleupon.com. It can suck me into its grasp for hours at a time. And lately stumbleupon has been taking me to the most amazing cooking/baking/recipe blogs. I love looking at different recipes and imagining eating the delicious foods. The only drawback is that in order to make any of these delicacies I would need a trip to the market. So, sadly my life has been diminished to “liking” various recipes and hoping that I remember to set aside time to make them later.